at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We are all done wearing pants today
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
