no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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