I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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