yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I deserve this hangover.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
