i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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