There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
