Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize