Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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