Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
