Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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