The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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