If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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