Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
