Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
