My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
