Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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