Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
