i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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