i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
