I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
