I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
