i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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