It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
