The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
NoShamevember. You game?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize