You smell like stripper and shame
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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