i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
