Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize