She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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