that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
