She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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