yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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