The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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