I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
