Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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