She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
