I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
