Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
