About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
