Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
