I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
