According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He better not be in your backpack
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
