She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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