Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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