It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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