yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize