All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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