So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
