You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize