take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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