I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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