Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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