He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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