2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
