My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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