His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
