I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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