Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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