And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
