why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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