he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
