If i come over, it means nothing
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
