i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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